4/52 Self Portrait - Use Your Gift
I have locked myself away on occasion and hidden my feelings about how my work is panning out. Certain things have been bugging me, difficulties that I have no control over and frustrating work issues. Nothing mind blowing but they are there non the less. I have learned to let it all pass and keep going. Keep doing what I love no matter what. I can't control everything and If the universe has a plan for me I need to trust it. All I know is that I have done the best job I possibly could at looking out for little signs that I'm on the right path, and that's enough for me. But there comes a time when we all need to take a step back and really feel proud even when things feel like they are taking a lifetime to organise. If you have a passion, a gift or want to do something that makes you happy you must use your gift. Photography is my one true calling and I'm on a beautiful journey. If it takes over from the rest of my work I need to understand it's meant to be.
Once upon a time there was a young girl who dreamt of having a huge dressing up box and would love to make and put together pretty outfits for her dolls.....now I get to do this as part of my job, and my clients are my beautiful dolls. I’m so very blessed to be able to work for myself, fulfil my childhood dreams, to help others and make it a career of playing fancy dress. But I have learned a lot over the last few months about myself and It normally takes something pretty big to happen to make you take a step back.
You really do learn a lot about your self when unpredictable things happen. And you learn a serious lesson about life and how to really live it. I'm fulfilling my dreams, but saying that I also feel I have a very long way to go till I'm satisfied with my accomplishments. And yet on one hand I don't ever feel like I will get to that stage.
I've pushed myself recently way out of my comfort zone doing this self portrait project but at the same time its's made me realise I don't have control over things and we all really don't. Finding the time has been the hardest part. I've missed my own deadline on two occasions and felt like a failure. But it's also ok. In the end we all just need to do what we can each day to be the best version of ourselves. Be kind, love with all your heart and use your unique gift in life. Wasting your gift is like being dishonest to god. We all have a true calling and we can live out our childhood dreams if we try hard enough. I once thought that making butterfly jewellery or nails that I still do for my private clients was my calling or true gift. I never really thought I'd be doing the one thing I was told to give up "Grow up and stop being a dolly day dream. Stop messing about and get a proper job" and so on. I say to you now that you should never listen to someone else. Be a dreamer....If you want to have a huge workshop, create things, make things, build things or become what you wanted to do in your childhood dreams you need to use your gift.
Image shot on a Sony a7II using a 55mm lens at f2.5 ISO 400 shutter 1/60